Page 305 - The Grotesque Children's Book

The Duke got suddenly very quiet. “We were in Genoa. Is...she going to die?”
“Oh, no, no, no. She may continue to have these chills until we find the right medicine
for her. Which is why I’m willing to try the theriac you suggest. I happen to think there are
more effective medicines for her, but if properly monitored and administered, we can either rule
it out as ineffective or more happily, discover her body responds well to it. There’s a patient I
recently heard of, from Peru I think she was, who had the most dreadful case of sweating and
fever and shaking, apparently uncontrollable shaking of her hands, neck and feet, and they used
the same methodology I’m describing: first trying one medicine and observing the results, then
the next with more observations. Then they tested small portions of this mild arsenic and within
a week the symptoms stopped, and on the eighth day they ceased her medication entirely and
she’s been healthy ever since.”
“So we’ll use the arsenic and the theriac, every day, every hour, in large doses!”
“No.”
“Yes! I want her cured, Valerius.”
“I understand. So do I want her cured. But I’m begging you to trust in me, Duke
Francesco. Let me do what you have entrusted me to do: cure Bianca. You do what you have
the most skills in: for instance, more of her astrological chart.”
“I thought you didn’t believe that astrology was going to work.”
“Well, it won’t hurt, so long as you don’t read its results as instructions to feed her all
kinds of potions and oils. Your medicines might mix with my medicines in ways we might not
expect, and do harm to Bianca, which is something neither of us wants. Please, your Grace, so
that I can measure the results accurately, promise me you’ll let me, and only me, administer
treatments to Bianca.”
The Duke had grown steady now, and calm. “I’ve learned long ago not to make
promises, Valerius. But where it concerns Bianca, very well. I do so love her, you know.”
“I know.”
“I wouldn’t want to live if she died.”
“I understand that’s how you feel now.”
“And in the future. She’s so vibrant and funny. And beautiful. And oh, my, Doctor,
those bosoms. Life isn’t worth living without them.”
“Let us save the bosoms, shall we?”
“We shall.”

305