Page 416 - The Grotesque Children's Book

The court laughed.

Pandolfo flipped through more of the testimony. “Ehhh. Philosophies. Contemplations.
Logic, logic, logic. Plato. Some Greek word I can’t pronounce. Ahh, here! Here’s a section
worth reading to you. He’s taking the opposite tack here, and trying to discredit alchemy and
those who believe in it. Let’s have a listen.”

“Let us consider those bodies which are most highly inflammable, as
sulphur, camphor, naphtha and the like, with their compounds; which catch fire
more quickly and easily than gunpowder if not impeded (from which it appears
that the desire of bursting into flame does not produce by itself that stupendous
effect); the other, of those bodies which shun and abhor flame, as all salts. For we
find that if salts are thrown into the fire, their aqueous spirit bursts out with a
crackling noise, before flame is caught; which is the case also, though in a milder
degree, with the stiffer kinds of leaves: the aqueous part escaping before the oily
catches fire. But this is best seen in quicksilver, which is not inaptly called
mineral water. For quicksilver, without bursting into flame, by mere eruption and
expansion almost equals the force of gunpowder, and is also said when mixed
with gunpowder to increase its strength.

“Ah,” said Pandolfo, “This seems to be most confused, perplexing mystical thinking.
Does it not? Nonsensical and useless! Fie on alchemy! But I interrupted the testimony. He
continues, describing a magical forbidden alchemical spell:”

“Fix a lighted wax taper in a small metal stand; place the stand in the
middle of a bowl, and pour round it spirit of wine, but not enough to reach the top
of the stand. Then set fire to the spirit of wine. The spirit of wine will yield a
blueish, the taper a yellow flame. Observe therefore whether the flame of the
taper (which is easily distinguished by its color from the flame of the spirit of
wine, since flames do not mix at once, as liquids do) remains in a conical or rather
tends to a globular form, now that there is nothing to destroy or compress it. If
the latter is found to be the case, it may be set down as certain that flame remains
numerically identical as long as it is enclosed within other flame and feels not the
antagonistic action of the air.

“Gentlemen,” said Pandolfo, “with all respect due my client, I think we see where this all
headed. He has attempted most nobly to sway you to the sturdy workings of science and away
from the murky conclusions derivable from alchemy. It appears that the remainder of his one-
hundred-page testimony falls into either of these two categories, and I, for one, am already
utterly convinced of the power of science, as proven on multiple occasions by the good
Dr. Valerius! Do we need more? I think we do not. I think he has done his job, and good for
him. So with your permission, I shall submit this full testimony into the records, should any of
you wish to read the whole of it. But in the interim, I suggest that he has defended himself well,

416