Page 173 - The Grotesque Children's Book

Chapter 10.

The Cabinet of Curiosities and the Man Who Sold It

Before Chimento Zaccario became appointed as the Duke's royal alchemist, he scrabbled
out a living with a traveling “cabinet of curiosities", entertaining heads of Europe, squeezing
kroner and pfennig and francs and the like out of dignitaries and not-so-dignitaries who were
easy to fascinate. Zaccario's cabinet was an eight-sided dollhouse-sized treasure chest with many
drawers, hidden compartments and false fronts which could be unlocked and let down to reveal
intricately fitted nesting shelves and cubbyholes filled with wonders of the natural and fabulist
world. The internal compartments contain specimen boxes and covered jars, filled preserved
animals, horns and tusks and skeletons presumably collected from exotic exploring expeditions
and trading voyages. Over time, there came to be expected more and more wondrous objects,
such as clockwork automata, unicorn horns, powders of eternal life, or skeletons from fantastical
creatures which were part animal, part plant, and often part demon.

Francesco first saw Zaccario's cabinet of curiosities in a parlor in the Emperor of
Austria's Hofburg Palace during his farce of a courtship of Joanna of Austria, the result of which
was such a foregone conclusion that Francesco could not have been less interested in the
proceedings, company or conversation, so when the Emperor trotted out Zaccario and his curious
cabinet, Francesco seized upon it and its contents as a heaven-sent distraction and a hell-sent
amusement. But it instantly became more than that for Francesco. He became fascinated and
then obsessed with the cabinet, particularly with the unicorn horn.

Zaccario, when he saw he had the rapt attention of one of the wealthiest dukes in all of
Europe, drew him close to one of the specimen drawers which contained the horn, and whispered
into his ear: “it is full of Spiritus which it has extracted from the Sun and retained. In the Powder
you will find the blessed bloodred Oleum Antimonii in the retort, which should be treated with
great reverence and secrecy. Its innermost power and soul has become thrown out unto the
outermost, and the hidden soul is now revealed and shines through the pure body as a light
through a lantern.”

At the end of the evening when it was time for Zaccario to close up the cabinet,
Francesco declared he wanted to purchase the cabinet. Zaccario said, of course, the cabinet was
not for sale, as it was his livelihood, and without it he would have nothing with which to tour.

When Francesco replied, “Then let me pay you a livelihood, but sell me the cabinet.”
Zaccario knew this might be the last squeeze he could ever need to make. He feigned
intractable. “Sire. I've promised showings to the Kings of France and England.” That did it, of
course.

“All the more reason to sell me the cabinet. Force them to come to me if they want to see
it!” He added a confidential entre-nous chortle.

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