Page 81 - The Grotesque Children's Book

he'd heard the frightened screams for help of one of his fellow children from
Vierspitzen, he removed his shoes so as not to make any sound, and he
followed the chariot as it took Kinderslüka to his dark grotto, far over the third
hill in the shadow of the fourth mountain.

Damiano knew better than to leap out and start trying to pry out
Kinderslüka's eyes. He reasoned he must wait until Kinderslüka had feasted,
and was bloated and slow, so he would have the best chance of snatching the
eyes before they could become goats. But it was horrible listening to the child's
shrieks as Kinderslüka ate his toes and feet! Mercifully the child was a weak-
willed one, and succumbed to death before Kinderslüka had even begun
feasting on his leg bones. Eventually the sounds of eating grew quieter, then
still, and Damiano heard Kinderslüka give a sonorous belch so loud it echoed
round the canyons. (Why did I bother with all that skulking around trying to
follow the monster? thought Damiano. I could just as easily have simply
listened for the belch!) At this point Damiano's plan was to surprise
Kinderslüka by leaping into the grotto, then after a brief moment of looking
gastronomically tempting, pretend to bolt out of the grotto and run for his life.
Then knowing that although Kinderslüka was slow and bloated Damiano would
still lose a footrace, for Kinderslüka was twice his height, and his strides were
twice as long as his, rather than run, Damiano would turn around and catch
the eyes mid-flight, or snatch them from Kinderslüka's hands if he hadn't yet
thrown them. The flaw in the plan, of course, would be if Damiano turned
around too late, and the goats were already harnessed in the chariot, chasing
him. But there was no point waiting. In fact, the sooner the better before
Kinderslüka could fall asleep, or worse, smell Damiano waiting outside the
grotto. So...now! shouted Damiano to himself, leaping into the grotto.

It turns out there was another flaw in the plan. Kinderslüka was not
alone in the grotto.

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