Page 273 - The Grotesque Children's Book

“What do you mean, cooking? A poor supper? Yes, I suppose an undercooked meal
could cause fever.”

“No, Doctor Valerius. Now, listen, you needn’t simplify things for me. I’m a natural
curiosist -- is that a word? -- someone who is curious.”

“It’s a word now; you’ve just now made it one, your Eminence.”
“Good for me. How wonder am I!?”
“You are a wonderfulist, Sire!”
“A what?”
“A wonderfulist. One who creates wonderful things where before none existed.”
“That’s an alchemist.” The Duke frowned, unsure of whether he was being ridiculed.
“If you say so, Sire.”
“Now, there you go again, talking down to me.”
“I assure you I wasn’t.”
“Now, now, you needn’t worry. I’m not going to lock you up or cut off your head just
because you insulted my capacity for scientific knowledge. I want to know everything,
Dr. Valerius, absolutely everything!”
The doctor smiled. “I’m not sure there’s time to learn everything, Sire.”
“Then you must give me more time.”
“It’s not up to me.”
“It most certainly is. You’re the doctor. Who else can prolong life but you?”
“Prolong, perhaps, but not long enough for you to learn everything. That is my point.”
“I like you, Doctor Ludovico Valerius. You’re not afraid of me.”
“Perhaps once I get to know you better.”
Francesco let out a great hearty laugh. “Yes, perhaps then. But you’ve successfully
diverted the conversation away from your pedigree and vast knowledge of fevers, you modest
man. But I’m on to you. I saw how you launched into that silly example about undercooking a
fever, because you feared I would embarrass myself with an explanation of my understanding of
fevers. Well, I’ll not let you out of that, sir! I’m as unafraid of you as you are of me. I’ll risk it,
you watch and see. I’ll explain to you the cause of fever, and then I’ll watch how mightily and
heartily impressed you, strike that!, how awestruck and histrionically impressed you are!”
The doctor bowed his head. “Not preceded by that fanfare, sire. With such a preamble,
not even the great Bernard de Gordon could live up to that boasting.”
“Who?”

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