Page 275 - The Grotesque Children's Book
P. 275
discern a considerable number of distinct characteristics such as color, thickness, consistency or
sedimentation; you know, layering. Is anything settling to the bottom of the matula? Anything
rising to the top? More importantly, is the patient’s urine any different today from what it was
yesterday? Was it thinner yesterday but now today, after a paroxysm, perhaps or a reign of
vomiting, is it thicker, or ashen, or reddish?”
“I feel that!” shouted Francesco. “At the side of my neck! And that’s the bellows of the
forge, is it?”
“Is it what?”
“The stove inside us, heating and cooling our bile. There must be bellows to stoke the
fire. Oh, it’s wonderful, wonderful, Doctor! How much I’ve learned from you already! You’re
hired! Tomorrow, you must explain to me why salve from white spiders cures a fever, but not
from black spiders!”
Dr. Ludovico Valerius stood up. “No, I'm afraid this isn't a match for me after all, as
honored and flattered as I would be to --”
“Now, sit right back down, Doctor.”
“Your Grace. There are too many doctors out there professing miracles for this, and
rejuvenating balms for that. I don't believe in miracles, your Majesty, and wouldn't want to get
any of your wife's hopes up.”
“I'm very impressed by you, Doctor. You're very direct. You're willing to turn down
what is undoubtedly a very lucrative assignment, on principle. I like that. You’ll be working for
me beginning tomorrow.”
“No. I just said --”
“You just said no miracle cures. We'll make that clear to Bianca. She's to do as you ask
her to, without any expectations. She'll think you're trying out some options for aging; she
doesn't need to know you're really investigating the shivers.”
“Again, no, your Majesty. If I'm to treat your wife, I would need her to be frank with me
about her symptoms.”
“I see, I see.”
“You and I could pretend you don't know about the symptoms. But I would actually
suggest instead that your wife confide in you, and that might speed up the cure.”
“Would it?”
“It actually might. Honesty. Truthfulness. I find these are very useful components in a
patient's recovery.”
“Recovery! So you do think she has an illness!”
“One thing at a time, your Majesty. Some conditions are fairly easy to treat. Some
others are more difficult.”
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